Growing up…

When we are young, we seem to rush the clock… let’s get our license, let’s graduate high school, let’s move out on our own and then… as we enter our adulthood we wonder why the clock doesn’t slow down.

Today, I have a Junior, a 7th grader and a 6th grader. We also have our conference with our Kindergarten teacher. That means I have 2 left home.

As a mom, I’m excited for them. As a mom, I’m sad for me. You see they are growing, having the same rush through time stages and soon it will be saying “Congratulations Graduate” and Leo moving on to his next chapter.

I feel lonely already. I’m trying to make memories with all my children so if something happens they have them to lean back on and take with them. Maybe a tradition they will carry on with.

Depressing that I have missed a bunch of fun things in their lives however I have time and moving forward will be making memories even more now.

Leo, True, Moose, She-ra, Boog, and Goob… I love you so much!!!

Stumbling *back* to Normal…

This month has already started out pretty chaotic.  My mother-in-law in the ICU, my son needing a cast on his arm due to falling off his bicycle and fracturing/injuring his growth plate of his elbow, my older son dislocated his elbow and popped it back into place… Mind you this was by the 3rd of May.

As I was driving for my job this last week between seeing clients and other tasks, I had a realization that despite the fact I love that my job is an important one to many people, it’s not where I need to focus my time and energy right now.  You see, I have been struggling to keep my mind and body in the proper state to be at work since last year.  Not only that but recently was increased on my anti-depressant medication and am at the highest allowable amount.

It was a dawning… a mom of 6 children (16, 11, 10, 4, 2 and 4.5 months), working full-time, attempting to sell products with a direct sale business, keeping up with a happy household and a husband who went from working out of the house & keeping laundry going for our family of 8 to working back in the office because of a pay raise.  My mother-in-law is the child care provider for the youngest 3 girls and well, for having 3 in child care while I work full-time in another location I’d be out a few more hundred than the family discount we get.  It’s put me in a bind because there’s the real need for me to stay home and a desire to work.

So now, I’m trying to stumble back to my normal… you know before kids, without anti-depressants, back when I was invincible??  I know that won’t be my normal, so now I’m stumbling to a new normal.

I hope you will take some time to follow me and get to know me and my struggles, battles, and all the amazing victories… I have overcome a lot in my life and know that there is SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE in my life that others can relate to…